2017 has been a rough and tough year; I was struggling with a lot of things, most of the times. It was hard; overwhelming.
Everything wasn’t going really well; Nothing goes as I planned. I still don’t know where my life is heading. I failed to accomplish my goals too many times. I bid someone -and the feeling,too- a goodbye for good.
Many nights I spent wonder how to deal with those things. Many times I forced myself to find a way to get out. I was a mess. Yet I was too broken to cry. And that’s what makes those harder; to feel broken but not be able to express it nor ignore it. I felt helpless.
I forced myself to be strong; put on my facade. Until one day I grown tired and for the first time ever, I choose to put off my facade; embracing my defeat. Strangely, instead of felt bad, I even felt better. Like those burden felt lighter. Everything still not okay, but I didn’t feel bad again. That’s when I learned something: That is okay, to be lost sometimes. To take a break and simply to not think about what to do. To made a peace with myself that it is okay not to be okay. To accept that pain, is what makes us human.
I learned to be gentle to myself. Because I realized, in those tough moments, I don’t need another push in my life, especially a push that came from my very own self. I have to be kind to myself, I thought. With life being harsh, who do I have besides myself?
Times heals. Nothing stays permanent. That is the only certainty in life. Like the sun that rises after the night passes. Like a heart that’s fully love again after broken to pieces. This too shall pass.
Breathe. It will be okay, I said to myself.